Sonnet 55 – New Year’s Eve Without You

God, how I miss you today. There’s a hard
wind blowing a cold rain from the south-east -
what a wretched metaphor for my heart.
I find I love her most whom I’ve loved least.

Hours away from the turning of the year,
I sit alone and wonder where you’ll be
tonight, how you’ll celebrate. My fear
is that I’ll not come to mind – not briefly,

not at all. You’ll be with him, as you should
be, as custom requires. I’ve never known
such jealousy, such lack or loss. I would
nearly rather not love you, need you, own

any piece of your heart. We should be one
when the clock strikes and a new year’s begun.

(Companion to Sonnet 35)